Shiny Waffles
by lolkittie64
Summary: This is me in one of my random moods. Join Shinykit on her Mary-Sueish adventure! Trollfic. I don't care about flames, flame on flamers.
1. Rainbow Barf

**Hi Y'all. First Troll-Fic, flames allowed!**

Shinykit walked out of the nursery to eat a rainbow mouse Nyan Cat had just killed. She chewed on it thoughtfully. _This tastes multicoloured! _Shinykit thought. Just then, her mother came out of the nursery.  
"Where in StarClan is Nyan Cat? I have to beat him up for not giving my SHMOOPY DOO a big enough mouse!" Sparklysparkle yowled. Shinykit smiled, showing glowing white teeth (which is surprising because cats never brush their teeth)

"It's okay, Sparklysparkle, Nyan Cat is my friend! Please don't beat him up!" Shinykit pleaded. Just then, green concentric circles appeared in Shinykit's eyes, hypnotising her mother.  
"Yes, master," Sparklysparkle said in a monotone. Shinykit went over to a large rock, and sunbathed. Her rainbow sparkly fur glinted in the purple sunlight. It was purple because Nyan Cat sprinkled purple fairy dust on it. While she was sunbathing, some cats formed a line in front of her.  
"PLEASE Shinykit, can I have your autograph?" they chorused. Shinykit took off her dark shades coolly and said  
"What am I, a Twoleg celebrity? I don't have hands, mouse-brains," she told them. They slunk away, disappointed. Shinykit went back to reading her magazine, like a boss.

Her littermate, Weirdkit, came out of the nursery. "Hey Weirdkit!" Shinykit greeted him. In response, he burped and turned into a zebra. Shinykit backed away, slowly. She bumped into Shootingstar. "I'm so sorry, Shootingstar!" she apologized to the Clan leader.  
"Eh, what? Get out of my shooting range!" he yelled. She did so, and he pulled out his gun, shooting down a rabbit. "There! Who needs claws?" he said, satisfied. He turned to Shinykit. "What did you want again?" he asked, putting away his gun. Shinykit dipped her head.  
"There was something I wanted to ask you..." she began. Shootingstar blinked, and looked at her as if for the first time.  
"Hey, do you want to be my mate?" he asked randomly. She looked at him closely.  
"I'm only a kit, and there is no way ever this could actually happen, but okay!" she purred, stupidly.

"EVERYBODY BRACE YOURSELVES! GREENLLAMACLAN IS ATTACKING!" Shootingstar yelled, just a moment later. The warriors of CandyClan lined up, defending their territory. Just then, somebody called  
"FETCH WEIRDKIT!" Everybody gasped, and cheered, because when Weirdkit burped he turned into something big and strong. Everyone crowded around him, chanting. Weirdkit just looked at everybody, and hiccuped. He turned into a grasshopper. Sparklysparkle wailed  
"Oh no! I totally forgot: Weirdkit only turns into something big and strong when he burps. When he hiccups, he turns into a grasshopper." Everybody groaned. Just then, Shinykit became even more sparkly than usual, and started to glow rainbow. She levitated above everycat else, and barfed rainbow flames onto GreenLlamaClan's warriors. They retreated, their fur burning rainbows.

"Yay! Hurray for Shinykit!" they yowled. She smiled, and did a cutesy victory dance, stepping on grasshopper-Weirdkit in the process. Nobody cared. "I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!" Weirdkit roared from StarClan.


	2. The Not-So-Amazing Cooking Show

**Hello again. Brace yourselves for randomness!**

Magicalpony, the deputy of CandyClan, walked up to Shinykit. "Hey Shinykit. Shootingstar wants you to have your own cooking show. The studio is on your left," he told the rainbow furred wonder of nature. She looked to her left. There was a little kitchen.

"When did this get installed?" Shinykit asked. Magicalpony shrugged.  
"Don't ask me. Filming starts in five." Shinykit headed over to kitchen top, and looked at the ingredients. There was heaps!  
"Wow. I think I'll make catmint waffles," she said to no-one in particular. The cameracat, Cupcakesprinkles, looked at her doubtfully.  
"Is it natural to have rainbow fur?" he asked. Shinykit shrugged.  
"Probably not. Now, when do we get filming?" she asked the skeptical cameracat.  
"Now," he replied. Shinykit started getting her ingredients out while Cupcakesprinkles fiddled with his sparkly magical camera. Suddenly, he gave Shinykit the paws up. "Filming live to all Clans!" he mouthed.

"Hello, cats of all Clans!" Shinykit said, a born TV presenter. "Welcome to Shinykit's Cooking Show! Today, we're gonna be making catmint waffles!" The warriors of CandyClan all sat hunched on a dirty sofa they found in the Twoleg skip, watching on Shootingstar's portable television set.  
"Step 1: Pour in the wheat flour." Shinykit poured the flour into a stainless steel bowl. "Step 2: Add the sugar." What Shinykit didn't realise was that Weirdkit was watching over her from StarClan. He turned the sugar into salt using his weird power, cackling evilly. Because of his evil laugh, he was magically transported to the Dark Forest.  
"Aww crap!" he complained.

"Step 3: Put the milk in." Shinykit said to the camera, smiling like a rainbow cat. She turned her back to the camera, and drunk half of the milk.  
"Step 4: Mix it up!" said the adorable bundle of sparkly poofness. She got out an electric drill, and mixed it up ferociously. Most of it spattered on Cupcakesprinkles, but he didn't whine. He was getting paid in fresh-kill for this, anyway.  
"Step 5: Put in the catmint," she gurgled, still have milk in her mouth. She flew- and yes, I mean flew- to Ripeberry's medicine cat supplies and stole all of his catmint. _Wow, _she thought. _I am a really nice cat! Eating waffles is much better than_ _healing greencough! _

She came back, and dumped the catmint into the waffle mixture. She got out her drill again, and mixed it up violently.  
"Step 6: Put it in the waffle mold!" Just as she was about to pour the mixture into the mashed up rotten waffle excrement, Cupcakesprinkes stopped her.  
"NOOO! Shinykit, it says put it in the waffle _mould_. Look at the script!" he yowled. She looked down at the piece of paper.  
"Ohhh... Oops! Sorry, viewers. I meant to say: Step 6: Put it in the waffle mould." The rainbow kit threw the yucky rotten waffle mush into the garbage, and pulled out the waffle mould. She pushed the mixture into the mould (that's a shaped base for foodstuffs, in case you didn't know) and dusted off her purple paws.  
"We'll be back after the break!" she said cutely. When the camera stopped rolling, she wiped her multicoloured brow in exhaustion.  
"Man, that's hard work!" she exclaimed.

Shootingstar looked at the ads: Just a bunch of salescats blabbing on about Dark Forest insurance and toothpicks. He sighed, and went to get a bit of fresh-kill when it came on again. He immediately ran over to the TV set.  
"SHWEETUMS!" he yowled, pink hearts in his eyes. The other cats groaned, and one threw up.

_*Meanwhile, at the medicine cat's cave...*_

Ripeberry woke up. He was supposed to be sorting through his leaves, but fell asleep in the process. He thought to himself, _Why in StarClan did I ever want to be a medicine cat in the first place? It's boring!_ He checked his supplies, yawning: Tansy, horsetail, chervil, burdock root... Where was his catmint? He sniffed around the area. He scented Shinykit. _Oh, that rainbow coloured mouse-brain is gonna PAY! _he thought angrily.

Shinykit smiled as the camera came back on.  
"Hello again, and welcome back! As you know, I am making catmint waffles and we are nearly done! I just need to take them out of the oven..." The magical cat of wonderment and awe headed over to the oven, opening it and taking out the waffles. She was wearing rainbow striped oven-gloves. "I sure hope I get to keep these cool oven-gloves!" she said, chuckling. Cupcakesprinkles rolled his eyes. She smelt the waffles. "These smell about do-" The kit of eternal awesomeness was cut off by a loud screeching.  
"MY CATMINT!" the furious medicine cat yelled. " *!%$£ YOU SHINYKIT!" he added, chucking the waffles onto the floor.  
"MY WAFFLES!" she yowled.  
"MY SHWEETUMS!" Shootingstar shrieked.  
"MY SUPPLIES!" Ripeberry yelled. Cupcakesprinkles sighed, and turned the camera to him.  
"That's it for today, folks. Bye," he finished off.

The show ended. The viewers were disturbed. That sounds like the end of the chapter.


End file.
